#Poem 有些愿望/SOme Wishes

有些愿望

有些愿望，我不能在举杯时说

比如申请黑山学院，跨物种结婚，去月球

有些愿望，比不上安宁和喜悦更值钱

比如买牧马人，移民札幌，和当红导演的摄影指导做情人

有些愿望，我恨不得永远不要想起

比如变得温柔，慈爱和受欢迎，

比如学会化烟熏妆，带卫生棉条，

选定纹身的位置，散发魅力

有些愿望，只有在痛苦不堪时才被确认

比如剃圆寸和贴八字胡，比如与魔鬼签订契约，

比如成为鬼魅和刺客，向所爱之人开炮

有些愿望，胡言乱语的时候才肯显形

比如增长一些智慧，陶醉于自由与友谊，

比如刻苦地写下谬论和歪理，

比如将我毁灭时也与我同归于尽

有些愿望，我不能对着佛说

比如越狱、自杀、得精神病，

比如无所事事，慷慨赴死

比如极致冲突下的浪漫，与文学性的生活

比如为我复仇，将我拯救，替我去爱，或者送我去死

有些愿望，我将用漫长的一生去放弃

比如偷渡，比如当大学教授

比如穿越绝境，

比如我与你

2022-02-01

Some Wishes

Some wishes I cannot speak aloud when raising a glass

Like applying to Black Mountain College, marrying across species, going to the moon

Some wishes are worth less than peace and joy

Like buying a Wrangler, emigrating to Sapporo, becoming the lover of a famed director’s cinematographer

Some wishes I wish I’d never recall

Like becoming gentle, kind, and beloved,

Like mastering smoky eye makeup, using tampons,

Choosing the spot for a tattoo, exuding charm

Some wishes reveal themselves only in unbearable pain

Like shaving my head and stick a mustache, making a pact with the devil,

Becoming a ghost or assassin, firing upon the one I love

Some wishes appear only in rambling delirium

Like gaining some wisdom, intoxicated by freedom and friendship,

Diligently writing down fallacies and twisted truths,

Perishing alongside me when I am destroyed

Some wishes I cannot confess to Buddha

Like breaking out of prison, suicide, madness,

Idleness, generous self-sacrifice,

Romance born of extreme conflict, a literary life,

Avenging me, saving me, loving for me, or sending me to death

Some wishes I will spend a lifetime relinquishing

Like illegal border crossings, becoming a university professor,

Likee going through despair,

Like you and me

2022-02-01